dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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