Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
