Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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