Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
