Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well you can't waste a boner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
