Jerry, you need to find god
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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