he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
