I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
