I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
