is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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