Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
