Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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