you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
