porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
