I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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