Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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