whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
