just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
