theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
