meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
