dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
