you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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