just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
