just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
