Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
