did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
