You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
