It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
