You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
