we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
