New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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