FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
