You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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