Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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