I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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