If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you never un-have a 4some
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
