He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
