After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
