It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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