What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
