I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
