I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
