i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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