Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
