Porn is love you can see.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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