OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
