Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
