Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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