I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
