you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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