Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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